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Sex after 50? You’re still young at that age!

That people over 50 are enjoying sex is hardly hot news anymore. But what’s it like when you get a lot older?

Do people over 80 have sex at all? Yes, they do. And it’s not even a few youthful exceptions. British researchers have interviewed 7000 men and women over 50 about their sex life, about how often and in what way they have sex, and about their thoughts and worries about the future. The survey showed that 60 % of people between 70 and 79 and 37 % of people over 80 were sexually active in one way or the other. As people get older, intercourse becomes less common. Instead, kissing, cuddling and masturbation takes its place.

The reason for not being sexually active anymore was usually that people had lost their partner. It was especially true for women over 80. If you become chronically ill – get diabetes, high blood pressure or another cardiovascular disease, joint pains or asthma, the disease often also impairs your sex life. This risk is greatest for men. Older women’s sex life is hampered by a dry, sore and sensitive vagina, men’s by erection problems. And both sexes feel that their desire for sex diminishes with age.

Women generally don’t worry as much as men if their desire wanes and sex is given up altogether. For the oldest, it does not seem to matter at all. But it’s important to both women and men that they agree with their partner about how often and in what way to have sex. Otherwise, at least one of the parties will be frustrated. The one who wants more sex will feel unsatisfied, and the one who wants less taken advantage of.

What to do? Well, there’s only one solution. Talk about it!

A new friend – will he think I’m attractive?

Meeting somebody new: Will he like my body?

 

Hanne is 67. She lost her husband some years ago. She still mourns him and always will, but she has started to open up to the world again. Now, she feels that she wants somebody to share her life with. Maybe it’s possible to find a new friend?

She’s looking at herself in the mirror. She weighs a bit more than when she was 25. Her once slim waist has more or less disappeared inside rolls of fat. The contours of her jaw and chin are not so well defined anymore. She has wrinkles, especially around her mouth and eyes, also when she doesn’t smile… Her skin on her upper arms is hopelessly sagging and her thighs aren’t much better. She thinks of the long, beautiful hair, she had when she was young. It’s thinner now and the colour has faded.

Will any man ever again find her attractive? What does it take? Her hair can be dyed, of course, but her 65-year-old flesh will never look youthful again. Cosmetic surgery? No thanks. She wants someone who likes her the way she is.

I know Hanne, and I know that there are lots of men who will find her wonderful. She is warm, she is sweet, she is a lovely person to talk to and be with. She can flirt, if only she wants to and dares. Her body is soft and feminine and smells good.

What does it take for a woman to be sexy? Well, according to the gentlemen among my closest acquaintances, she should definitely not look like a porn model, being skinny, tanned and clean-shaven everywhere. She should have a soft and curvy body and smell like a woman. Everywhere, which means she does not necessarily have to shower five minutes before having sex. She should be confidant that her body will bring her joy and that her partner will indulge in her. And she should enjoy the sex game, the acting and the play.

And according to the same gentlemen, a clean-shaven vulva is no special asset.