The purpose of sex is creating a pregnancy, right? And women do not have to orgasm to get pregnant. So why do women get orgasms at all?
There are two opposing theories about this. There’s not much fun about the first one – now you’ve been warned. But stick around anyway, the second one is much more exciting.
The first theory: Women’s orgasm is just a leftover from evolution. It’s a superfluous feature that has no function in relation to our survival. Such features tend to disappear over time, so in the course of a million years or so, women will not get orgasms at all. Men’s nipples, which are of no practical use, will also disappear. (Barbie’s Ken taking the lead. Absolutely no nonsense there.)
A good lover is a good man
The opponents to this theory (the fun starts now!) believe that pleasure and orgasm help women distinguish between good and inferior partners. A woman can only have a limited number of children, and every one of them is an enormous investment of her physical and psychological resources. And how a man behaves during sex may be an indicator of how he would be as a father. Is he a wham-bam thank you mam type, who only thinks about his own needs when he has sex? Or is he the type who enjoys the play, the courting and teasing and touching, and understands that his penis is not going anywhere until it’s invited? This may actually show if he’s willing to put his own needs aside to provide food and protection for the woman and her (and his) baby. Maybe this is why women in general take a longer time to orgasm than men. It gives the man a chance to show his worth, and the woman a chance to separate the wheat from the chaff.
We want sex for the pleasure
In my opinion, believing that female orgasm is an evolutionary leftover is reducing sex to something that only exists to make babies. And what’s worse, it’s also reducing women to passive recipients of men’s sexual exploits (likes of Harvey Weinstein, you know?). This goes with a picture of “natural sex” as a stone age man grabbing a woman by her hair, pulling her off to the nearest cave, where he throws herself on top of her end impregnates her, the intercourse lasting about 45 secs. And what the stone age woman may think of that is unimportant.
If you believe that enjoying sex is just a necessity for men and not for women, consider the anatomy. You will get a huge explanation problem. Because the only part on the human body that is only there for the sake of pleasure is the clitoris. And it’s located on women.
No, in my opinion female orgasm is no evolutionary residue, but a crucial feature of our sexuality. The woman’s orgasm shows that her partner has been out of his way to make her happy. And then there is a greater chance that the partner is also a good life companion in other areas.
(Bonus info: Men’s nipples are strong erogenic zones, so let’s hope they don’t disappear.)